Not Alone
by GreenCyberWolf
Summary: Set a month or so after the war at Marine HQ. The Strawhat pirates are in the New World and Luffy is having trouble getting over what happened to Ace. Nami wants to help him but is it really so easy? Spoiler warning up to Ch. 578


Ok this is set about a month or so after Ace's execution. The Strawhat pirates are in the New World and Luffy is still having trouble getting over Ace's death. Nami wants to help but is it really so easy? Needless to say there is a spoiler warning up to chapter 578. So consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything so please don't sue

**Not Alone  
**-

"_It's no good I can tell when my own end has come…What are you talking about Ace... I'm not coming back from this Luffy…You said you wouldn't die…My only regret is not seeing your dream come true…You can't…I know you'll pull it off you are my brother after all…Don't give up now…Luffy listen I want you to tell the guys…Ace…Thank you for loving me…No…" _

"Luffy, are you going to stay in there all day?" Loud pounding on the door to the men's quarters jerked the young captain back to the world of the conscious accompanied by the sound of his navigator's worried voice. Luffy quickly wiped the stray tears from his cheeks in case Nami decided to drag him outside herself. Another nightmare, it had been this way since he woken up in Chopper's infirmary. Every time he tried to sleep the nightmares would come and he would jerk awake with tears streaming from his eyes.

"Luffy?" He knew he should answer her but he didn't. He knew if he did she would be able to tell that he had been crying again. She was the only one that had seen him cry over Ace's death but that didn't mean he wanted her to know every time. If it hadn't been for Nami he was sure he would have locked himself in his room and never come out. As it was Nami was the only one that could get him outside. Ever since he had regained consciousness he had created a barrier between himself and the rest of the crew. He was sure that his nakama didn't blame him for anything, not for the recent trouble with the Marines, not for Ace's death, and not for them being separated. However he still held that responsibility inside his heart. The door creaked open and his navigator's orange head popped in knowing exactly where he would be. Just as usual he was in his bunk staring blankly up at the ceiling. "I'll be out in a minute Nami." He finally said to her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her give a silent nod and heard the door close once again leaving him alone.

Nami had been the first person he saw after waking up in Chopper's infirmary and she had remained as close as he would let her ever since. That had been a month ago and she was still there. He had shut her out whenever she tried to talk with him and even now he wouldn't talk about much of anything. He had never been the one to ignore her before. He was always interested in what his navigator had to say even if he didn't always understand the complicated parts. Now though he couldn't bring himself to care about much of anything. He didn't care about what his crew had to say or the fact that they were now in the New World and one giant step closer to finding One Piece or even about food. So he stayed down in the men's room for most of the day and rarely talked to anyone aside from a few scattered sentences.

-0-

Zoro grunted from his napping position against the mast. "Just leave him alone Nami. He'll come out when he's good and ready."

Nami sighed and turned an irritated glare in the swordsman's direction. "No he won't and you know it. He'll just stay cooped up in there all day and won't speak to anybody." Not that she could blame her captain for his recent reclusive attitude.

It had been nearly a month since the super-nova, Trafalgar Law, pulled up to Sunny in his pirate submarine and handed an unconscious Luffy over to them. He was wrapped and bandaged but Chopper still moved him to the infirmary while both Zoro and Nami interrogated the other pirate captain. He told them of what Jimbei had told him and then handed Nami the tattered strawhat that was usually stuck to Luffy's head and jumped back aboard his submarine ship heading for destinations unknown.

No matter where they were at the time the whole crew had heard the news about the small scale war that had broken out during Ace's execution and that Luffy was smack in the middle of it. No one was surprised by this fact, Luffy being like he was. However when Law had told them what Jimbei had said a shockwave shot through the crew. Ace was dead. He had died not by execution but while protecting Luffy. The crewmembers that had actually met Ace during their travels in Alabasta were even more surprised by this fact having seen for themselves the strength Luffy's older brother was capable of.

Ussop watched as Nami walked back across deck from a safe distance while he worked on some little trinket. Chopper was sitting beside him looking worriedly over at Nami also. "Hey Nami, why are you so insistent on dragging Luffy out here, even when it's obvious that he wants to be alone?" The sharpshooter dared to ask the orange haired navigator. "I mean his brother was killed in order to protect him. That's gotta be hard for him"

Nami sat next to Robin who as usual had her nose planted in a heavy and boring looking history book. "I know that Ussop," Nami frowned towards him, "but cutting himself off from us is not going to help." She sighed tiredly resting her head in her hands. Since Luffy had woken up and locked himself away it seemed the whole crew was affected somehow but Nami looked to be taking it the hardest.

Luffy finally dragged himself out of the men's room but only looked around at everyone on deck and then turned to climb up on the lion figurehead of Sunny. He heard some whispered conversation behind him but didn't care to listen in. After a minute he heard light footsteps come up behind him. They were much too light for Nami or Robin so Luffy looked down to see Chopper shifting nervously from one hoof to the other.

"Luffy, um… we were gonna go fishing," The young reindeer began and motioned behind him to Ussop, "and we thought it would be more fun if you came fishing too." He looked nervously up at his captain with big brown eyes.

Luffy looked toward Ussop who was standing uncertainly and holding some fishing poles over his shoulder a few feet away. The rubber captain sighed before looking back down at Chopper. "Not today Chopper." Then he turned forward again ignoring the worried look passed between his nakama behind his back. Chopper and Ussop went fishing by themselves.

Nami sadly shook her head and stood up from her chair next to Robin. "I'm going to work on some maps." She said to the black haired archeologist. With a look over at Luffy the navigator sighed and headed toward the observation room.

Unknown to Nami however her departure was noticed by the young captain sitting alone at the front of the ship. After a few minutes of thought Luffy slowly climbed down from his perch and followed after her. He crept inside the observation room just as Nami was starting to draw a new map. Carefully he walked up behind her to look over her shoulder, he could be stealthy when he wanted to, and as the island began to take shape Luffy could tell what it was. It was actually the last island they had visited, Fishman Island. Jimbei, the unofficial leader of Fishman Island, gave most of the crew a personal tour. Luffy didn't really feel like exploring the island at the time so he stayed behind on the ship along with Nami who had nearly had a heart attack when the overly large merman suddenly appeared on the deck of the Thousand Sunny. Though once the introductions were over and Luffy had explained how he knew the ex-shichibukai everyone relaxed, some more than others, since Zoro never seemed to relax and Nami still nervously kept a fair distance away.

It was then that Luffy finally noticed that Nami had stopped drawing and was looking up at him. "Luffy what are doing?" Nami asked while placing her pen down on the desk

"Oh, Nami, I wasn't bothering you was I?" Luffy asked still leaning over his navigator's shoulder.

Nami stared up at the rubber boy in puzzlement. "No, you weren't bothering me Luffy. But, what are you doing in here?" She watched him shift uncertainly behind her before he plopped down on a nearby couch, his gaze moving from her to the floor.

Luffy refused to look at her and instead opted to try and stare a hole in the floor. "I just wanted to sit with you."

"In other words you had another nightmare didn't you?" The orange haired girl asked as she frowned sadly and turned towards him in her chair. This wouldn't be the first time her captain had asked to sit with her after he had woken from a bad dream. Luffy never told her outright what the nightmares were about but it didn't take a genius to figure it out. What she couldn't figure out was why he only asked her and not Robin or Ussop. Not that she was complaining, she wanted so much to be able to help him, and if keeping him company was what he wanted then she had no problems with that.

The young captain silently nodded still not looking at her. "Yeah, why won't they stop? I don't want to keep dreaming about that."

Luffy looked horrible, he had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, and looked paler than usual. Nami sighed deciding to throw caution to the wind, something had to be said, and they couldn't go on like this for the rest of their journey. "Luffy look, about what happened with Ace…"

"Stop. I don't want to talk about it Nami." Luffy stiffened in his seat. No one on the crew had spoken about Ace, not among themselves, and definitely not to Luffy. It seemed, at least for Luffy, the name was still taboo. He looked up at Nami with an expression that wasn't really a glare but it certainly wasn't inviting.

Nami continued anyway, emboldened by the fact that Luffy was still there and talking to her, well maybe talking wasn't the right word. At this point Nami wasn't going to be picky about it though. "Luffy, you can't keep avoiding it like this. You're not the only one that's hurting over what happened. I'm…we're all worried about you." She paused but he didn't respond. "I'm not saying you shouldn't be sad about your brother or that you should forget him and go back to your old idiotic self. This isn't the right way to handle it though. Cutting yourself off from us isn't the right way to do it." Nami stood from her chair and slowly stepped toward him as her voice softened to just above a whisper. "I know what you're going through Luffy. I understand the pain you must be in."

Luffy already knew this, out of the whole crew Nami was the one who probably knew what he was feeling more than anyone. "Nami I really don't want to talk about it now." The young captain stood and turned away but didn't get far as his navigator's hand came up to rest on his shoulder.

"I'm here you know, if you ever do want to talk about it. I'm not going anywhere Luffy." Nami said with a slight smile as she looked up at him. Her eyes met with Luffy's intense gaze and she seemed unwilling to move from her position next to him.

Luffy looked back at Nami as a strange feeling came over him. He had felt this feeling around her before but with everything that had happened it had gotten pushed to the back of his mind. For reasons not yet known to the rubber boy he wanted to pull Nami close and just hold her. That was the main reason that he kept asking to sit with her whenever he woke from a nightmare or felt down. Being around the spunky navigator made him feel better, Luffy hadn't felt this feeling around any of the others, and even Ussop's jokes couldn't get the same lighthearted feeling he got around Nami.

"Robin-chan, Nami-san, the wonderful meal made with all my soul is ready for you. Oi, lunch is served for the rest of you dirtbags too." Sanji's voice drifted through the observation room door breaking whatever spell the captain and navigator seemed to be in. Both broke eye contact and Nami quickly removed her hand from Luffy's shoulder and brought it back to her side.

"Um, I guess we should head to the kitchen." Nami said walking past Luffy her face several shades of red. At the door she stopped and turned waiting for him to follow. After a moment Luffy walked out behind the orange haired girl and they joined the others in the galley, Nami made a point of sitting a few seats away from Luffy, but she still blushed every time their eyes met.

-0-

Later that night Nami cracked open her door and stepped lightly out into the hall leading up to the deck. She couldn't sleep and decided to get some fresh air but stopped suddenly when she saw Luffy standing across the deck from her. She backed silently into the shadowed hallway she had just come from and stayed there watching him. He didn't notice her so they stayed like that, the silent captain on one side of the deck, and the equally silent navigator on the other. After awhile Nami decided to move a bit closer. With her cat like grace she made it almost the whole way across deck, stopping at the bottom of the stairs leading up to where Luffy was, and it was then that he spoke.

"Nami, what are you still doing up?" Luffy had finally taken notice of the navigator behind him but he didn't turn to look at her.

Nami sighed and came up to stand a few feet away from him. "I couldn't sleep so I decided to come out here."

He nodded absently, his mind obviously somewhere else, and a silence fell between them. Nami couldn't help but watch her captain, his back was ramrod straight, and arms were crossed over his chest in a protective sort of shield. Nami could guess at what he was trying to shield himself from.

Luffy stood looking out at the dark horizon. For once he wasn't thinking about Ace now his thoughts were on the very person standing behind him. Nami had been like a guiding light to him this whole time even though she didn't know it. He still felt like he wanted to grab hold of her and not let go only it was stronger now with her being so close.

Nami shivered slightly and not only from the breeze playing across the deck. The look she had seen in Luffy's eyes these past weeks was hauntingly familiar. She had seen that expression before. Every time she looked in the mirror for eight years she saw that look on her own face. It was a look of regret and sadness and burdens that were far too heavy.

There was a tug at Nami's heart when she thought about the desperation and heartache she felt for those eight years under Arlong. Thinking back to that afternoon and seeing that anguished expression on her captain's face she knew she never wanted him to feel that way. She would give anything to take away his pain and sadness but knew from experience it was an impossible wish. That feeling would never go fully away, but she still wanted to help him, just like he helped her back in Cocoyashi.

Luffy sighed making Nami look up from her thoughts. He wasn't looking at her but she could see his shoulders sag under an invisible weight. "Nami, about what you said before." His voice was soft, afraid almost, of even bringing this up. "Is it ok to talk now?"

Nami moved even closer and like that afternoon rested a comforting hand on his arm. "Luffy I told you earlier I'm not going anywhere."

There was a silent nod from the captain and a few moments of silence while he collected himself. "When we were separated I was sent to this weird island with a bunch of girls…"

Listening to his story Nami was surprised. Luffy hadn't said much about his time away from them even though everyone else had told of their travels. Everything they knew came from Jimbei and he had only told the basics leaving the main story for Luffy to tell. The navigator listened quietly as Luffy continued through the stuff that had happened on Amazon Lily and the break in at Impel Down.

He told her about meeting with Buggy, Mr. 3, and Bon Clay. She had only heard rumors about the torturous levels of the infamous prison but what Luffy told her was more than she had imagined. He told her of his fight against the prison warden Magellan and meeting Ivankov. Then, after all that, arriving too late to stop them from taking Ace. He told her about the alliance he had with Crocodile and how angry he was about that, but the Croc had helped him out.

Tears came to Luffy's eyes when he told her about what Bon Clay had done choosing to stay behind and opening the gates for the stolen marine ship. Nami was no fan of the former Mr. 2 but it was true that he had proved himself a friend helping them escape after Alabasta and she was sad for Luffy losing a friend like that. There was a pause in which Luffy had to take a few calming breaths to be able to speak again.

Then Luffy told her of arriving at Ace's execution at Marine Headquarters. One obstacle after another he told her of the people he fought and the ones who fought for him so he could get through to his brother. It brought Nami to the brink of tears imagining the scene of so many people giving their lives even if some were Marines. Luffy spoke about meeting Whitebeard like the man was the same as any other, and not the strongest pirate on the sea, this made Nami smile slightly.

Nami noticed that Luffy had stopped talking. His fists clenched by his sides and his eyes were covered by his hair so that she couldn't see them. Slowly his body started to shake and Nami suddenly knew what came next in the story. Her hand had remained on his shoulder through the entire thing now she knew just that wouldn't be enough to get him through this part. Never breaking contact with him Nami moved her hand from his shoulder down his arm and brought her other hand up so she could wrap both arms around his waist. Leaning her head against his back she gave a light squeeze to show him she was still there and that it was ok to continue. After a few silent moments, in which Nami wasn't sure she was doing the right thing, Luffy began again.

He told her how he had launched himself onto the platform where Ace was and then freed him from the sea stone. About how he felt when they were fighting side by side like when they were kids. He was crying while he spoke, his shoulders heaving through the quiet tears, and Nami cried with him. She had her head buried into the red vest on Luffy's back and the cloth was slowly becoming soaked by her tears. In a shaky voice he told her about the Marine Admiral and about Ace taking the hit meant for him. Nami couldn't understand his last few words because he had broken down into unintelligible sobs. Luffy sagged in her arms his having relived the whole event seemed to have exhausted him. His only support was the navigator holding tightly to his waist with what strength she had left from crying.

-0-

The two of them stayed like that for what seemed like hours before Luffy wiped the last of his tears away. He heard a muffled hiccup from behind him and realized that Nami still had her arms wrapped tightly around him. She had been crying with him. The back of his vest was wet with her tears but he didn't want her to cry because of him. He wanted to see her smile because that was when she could light up a whole room. It made his heart feel all fluttery and warm when she smiled. Plus he had promised the pin wheel guy.

Slowly Luffy brought his hands up to lightly rest over Nami's own. They were soft and warm and only slightly callused from working on her maps. He liked the feel of Nami's arms around him, it was comforting, and made him feel happier than he had in a long time. He started to absently run his fingers over her hands liking the feeling of his skin on hers. She nuzzled his back and he smiled knowing she didn't mind it either.

Nami felt as Luffy stopped crying and as he moved his sea worn hands over hers. They were larger and rougher than hers but comforting in their own way. She felt that something was right with his hands wrapped around her smaller ones. She was also enjoying the soothing feeling of his long fingers tracing little circles on her skin.

He carefully pulled away from her, not enough to break apart her interlocked fingers, but enough to turn around. Luffy wrapped his long arms around his orange haired navigator wanting to share the feeling of comfort she was giving him. Luffy looked down into her face and saw something different in her eyes. It was a look he had never seen her give to anyone before, especially to him. Her eyes alone made his heart beat faster but with her body pressed up against his and her arms wrapped so tightly around his body. It felt like he would explode if he didn't do something.

Nami felt him turn in her arms and looked up at her captain. What she saw was a face that was no longer the innocent boy she had known only weeks ago, but instead of feeling sad she smiled, because it was still Luffy she saw in those deep dark eyes. She felt his strong arms wrap around her in a comforting embrace. She felt safe in his arms and trusted him like no one else. She was thankful he had trusted her enough to share his story with her. Nami could feel his eyes on her so she turned her gaze up to meet his.

Coal black met chocolate as both captain and navigator's gazes met. In that instant there seemed to grow a deeper bond than the two had ever felt. Luffy gently moved his hand up to wipe away some stray tears still on Nami's cheek. Instead of moving the hand away though he let it slide down her jawline then back up again in a gentle caress. As if drawn together both Luffy and Nami closed the distance between them and their lips met in an intense kiss. Luffy's tongue ran over her soft lips asking for entrance, Nami didn't deny him, and she let him explore the contours of her mouth to his heart's content. Luffy's hand ran through her hair trying to deepen the kiss further wanting to taste even more of her.

Nami moaned into his mouth as his exploring tongue rubbed against hers in a playful manner and then retreated back into his own mouth silently asking for her to follow. She didn't hesitate as her arms, which were still around his waist, tried to bring their bodies even closer together. Nami began her own exploration of Luffy's mouth but too soon they had to break apart to be able to breathe again.

They stood under the moonlight still in each other's hold and panting for breath. The only sound to be heard was the gentle splash of waves against the side of the ship and the pounding of their own hearts hammering inside their chests. Luffy was the one to speak first as he dropped his head down and rested his forehead against his navigators. "Nami thank you." The captain's black eyes bore into her brown ones and she smiled. "Thank you for listening and not giving up on me. You stayed with me, leading me out of the dark, and I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

"If I weren't here, you'd still get through it Luffy. You're too hard headed for anything to keep you down long." Nami said with a smile as she lightly knocked her knuckles against his forehead making him go cross-eyed as he tried to watch her hand.

Luffy grabbed her hand as it lowered back to her side. "That's not true Nami, I wouldn't be able to get anywhere without you there to tell me where to go. You are my guiding light." Nami blushed as he once again covered her mouth with his own in a soft kiss. Not as passionate as the one before but filled with every bit of love he felt for her.

Pulling away first Nami smiled as she watched Luffy lean forward to try to capture her lips again but she stepped away from his hold. There was a sudden cool breeze making her shiver slightly from the space between them. Nami smiled as a thought occurred to her and she tugged lightly on Luffy's hand that had yet to release its hold on her and took a step back towards her cabin. "It's getting kinda cool out here, right Luffy? My room is sure to be warmer than out here." He looked puzzled for a moment then gave a shrug as if to say it didn't matter to him one way or the other. Nami rolled her eyes at her captain's oblivious nature and remembered with Luffy bluntness was the key. "Luffy why don't you come to my room so that we can continue our talk." The orange haired navigator took another step backwards tugging on the stretchy arm of her captain as she gave him a mischievous smile. Nami could almost see the light switch on in Luffy's head as he smiled back and allowed himself to be pulled across the deck and into her room. Their troubles were suddenly a very distant thought as Nami closed her door behind him.

0-0-0  
-0-0-

I'll leave what happens next to the reader's imagination since ya'll could probably think up something better than I could write. Please review and tell me what ya'll think.

On a side note yes I'm still working on NRN but this month has been and will be extremely hectic so I probably won't be able to post anything on it till next month.


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